Snakes on a Train

Snakes on a Train

Yet another film from The Global Asylum, the so-called film “studio” that thinks it’s appropriate to quickly pan out a low budget cash in film as soon as they ‘hear’ about an interesting movie coming out.

Their rubbish copycats are all over video shops around the country where they prey on morons who think it’s either the original big film that it’s mimicking, or some kind of licensed spinoff or sequel. And people like me, who watch them because they know it’s a cheap knock-off and it’s most probably going to be badly made. Let’s be clear, Snakes On A Train will milk out a lot of apologies for many disappointed viewers.

What I am going to do now is attempt to make a comprehensive plot summary out of the film. Please bear with me, however, as I may miss some details along the way because of how weird the whole story is. A certain man, together with his girlfriend, DOES manage to board the train, and the two of them conceal themselves in the baggage hold. When this colonist went to America, his wife became pregnant under mysterious circumstances because a curse had been laid on her so that a whole bunch of snakes would hatch inside her belly.

As her boyfriend went on with the ritual to cure her, things began to go wrong, and the snakes got loose on the train, meaning that its cast of irritation passengers had to start working. If not all of them, defected the passengers are demoted to position of irritation and have to work to resolve the situation.

Snakes On A Train is i think “fun” among quite a few other words, but the acting lets it down in most areas. There are even parts of this film, which is a bit of a stretch, the man playing a drug cop forces a teenage girl to take off her top and threaten to report her for drugs. Given the nature of the film this was a bit of a shift in tone and was unnecessary.

At other times it is just sheer brilliance. It was all pretty over the top and over the top blood in bright red color, along with a great number of snake-related deaths. The Global Asylum deserves credit for not only breaking a horror cliche but also making sure that the only young kid on the train was not honored.

The most captivating scene, in my opinion, has to be the very end of Snakes On A Train. Without giving secrets away, the CGI is horrible and makes every action that takes place seem so ridiculous, that you are more likely to roll around laughing than anything else.

I wouldn’t advise you to go out there and purchase Snakes On A Train immediately but if you do happen to come upon it on television, grab it with both hands and prepare to be entertained, for although it seems like a blatant attempt to cash in, the movie is indeed quite interesting.

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