Son of the Mask

Son of the Mask

Indeed, when I state that it’s my job to watch bad movies so you people do not have to or wait a second. it seems I’ve never said it this way before, but yes it is the case. It is movies like Son of the Mask that I am referring to. My agony would have been for nothing if you fall for the promotional hype like the commercials where they wish to pass Jamie Kennedy as though he’s Jim Carrey or some nostalgic view for the 1994 film (which I do consider unbelievably average, at least it is a masterpiece compared to this) and find themselves in a cinema where Son of the Mask is the running film. And your agony at that time I am sure will be for nothing.

There’s a single ray of hope that can be linked to Son of the Mask and that is the casting of Alan Cumming (X2: X-Men United, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over) as the trickster god Loki. Naturally, though, the realization of this idea has been, in a word, disastrous, for director Lawrence Guterman (Cats & Dogs) instantly stripped the character of Loki here of all his punkish pixieness and decided to make him a gay goth.

This is strange, to put it mildly, but perhaps this is what happens when Lawrence Guterman, a name nobody has ever heard about and for good reason, is allowed to put a ‘A LAWRENCE GUTERMAN FILM’ label on this shit and talk as if he is Orson Welles. Why a person like this gets to wax lyrical in public domain about his directorial film is baffling, but the bigger conundrum is why this person gets to make these ‘films’ in the first place.

Except, I suppose, Lawrence Guterman was probably once Larry Guterman, that obnoxious kid who sat right at the back of the benches during seventh period biology class and thought he was the class joker yet in actuality was such a nuisance and so unfunny that the teacher herself was funnier – quite an entertaining Larry Guterman to see please.

And that Larry Guterman really caught me off guard in a negative way and intimidate me. In fact, Son of the Mask could easily be classified as having Attention Deficit Disorder it’s either overly dramatic to the point of looking frantically around the camera in about a million different patterns, such as from people’s noses and below their waists, all of which are disgusting to witness, or it attempts to delve into ‘drawing’ the issues of being employed and being a parent that would make someone embarrassed for the film even before hearing anything else but kills you with boredom. If there is one thing which can be said about Son of the Mask, it is that the film is dizzying, but not in the sense that it is thrilling.

When the film is entitled “Son of the Mask,” it does not relent on the funny, PG-parented jokes terminally cursed connecting dots outside the box of art. I can only say Ewwww. The sexually frustrated animator Tim Avery (Kennedy: Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) well, why didn’t Lance Khazei go ahead and make him Tex is wearing that insane Loki mask while he has sex with his wife, the less pregnant looking Tonya Harding (albeit Traylor Howard does resemble her, and the character’s name is Tyler too), who wants a kid so badly that she doesn’t even realize that her husband has gone green and plastic heads. See? Ewww.

So this child who is a demigod can do everything but what one should do as a baby. The kid can shake like Michiagan J. frog and mess with the cute family pet dog who obviously feels neglected because of the new addition to the family.

I understand that this is envisioned as some sort of live action Looney Tune movie, the things I see, Some things that are acceptable cartoonish, like a baby and a dog being unduly aggressive toward each other are much more horrible and disgusting rather than cartoon characters struggling for dominance, even when they appear almost completely synthetic.

Also, there isn’t a day that passes when I do not wish there was a Henry David Thoreau sort of prohibition against Ben Stein factor of television. True to form, he returns as an actor playing a dull curator who comes in and seconds all theories before leaving. And if that is what the filmmakers want to do, then why spoil us with visions of Nixon goons, rather than just put Kissinger in there and call it a day? That movie could have been easier to watch if Son of the Mask was the only one left standing.

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