Almost Love

Almost Love

“What’s the reason for everything being so difficult all the time?” asks Adam (Scott Evans) in “Almost Love,” a romantic comedy/drama ensemble written and directed by Mike Doyle. I’m not sure what is meant to be so hard, admittedly; I write this from quarantine, with sick and/or immunocompromised loved ones on my mind, wishing I could sit at bars or eat skewered shrimp at parties. Perhaps it’s unfair to bring in the current moment. But life is not separate from art. The larger context does inform the artistic context. It’s not the movie’s fault, exactly though it doesn’t help that “Almost Love” has problems beyond being jarringly out of date with How We Live Now.

What is supposed to be so difficult about Adam’s life? He’s an artist; he makes money as a painter (yes, he paints for a famous artist who doesn’t give him credit, but still: nothing’s stopping him from making his own work except that he seems to feel choosing to be an artist means being an artist will be easy). He and Marklin (Augustus Prew) have been together for five years Marklin runs a fashion/lifestyle blog; he was profiled by The New Yorker; he gets stopped on the street by fans gushing over him, and supports Adam financially. That has its own kind of awkwardness built into it, but it’s hardly on par with oh say maybe losing your home and having nowhere else to go.

Which reminds me: One of the running jokes in Almost Love is that Adam and Marklin’s friend Cammy (Michelle Buteau) is dating a homeless guy. This is treated as so beyond the pale by everyone including Cammy that nobody even bothers mentioning his name. It’s just “oh right, how is that homeless guy you’re dating”? And everybody laughs while Cammy squirms because she can’t believe she’s “dating a homeless guy.”

Do these people hear themselves? There are also snarky remarks about how terrible Uber drivers are, and how annoying the ice cream truck is with its incessant jingle. New Yorkers do understand the irritation of having an ice cream truck jingling around their block at all hours of the day and night, but when this motley crew gets to know the owner of that very ice cream truck (who is, of course, a hottie), one of them sighs in exasperated boredom over how all he talks about is ice cream and all he wants to do is expand his business and isn’t it just so tedious?

Like shut up already about your job scooping Mister Softee, dude. It must be nice to have enough money that you can turn your nose up at somebody trying to make a life for themselves here in New York City. These characters amid their own class who probably think they’re liberal and open-minded, are steeped in economic privilege unawareness. And they don’t even realize it. And Mike Doyle doesn’t appear to realize it either. There’s no inquiry or interrogation into why Cammy’s boyfriend might be homeless; there’s no consciousness around how gross it is to think “a homeless person” would automatically be seen as “out of bounds” dating material. They’re humans, for god’s sake.

The cast is filled with great actors who do their characters justice. Patricia Clarkson has a really funny cameo, and there are a couple of jokes that land. “He’s eating dairy?” “Yes.” “Poor thing.” But mostly the script has no subtext, and without subtext there’s no place for real investment Everyone says exactly what they’re feeling as soon as they feel it. Adam keeps secrets from Marklin.

Marklin keeps secrets from Adam. But everyone is so communicative, so open, that subtext never gets the chance to do its magic. Almost Love often feels like the pilot of a sitcom: establishing the cast of characters, their various ‘issues,’ like thirtysomething Friends. There’s the wonderful Kate Walsh, who plays Elizabeth, still blissed out after 15 years of marriage, comfy and complacent. Haley (Zoe Chao) is high-strung and gets a crush on the high school kid she’s been tutoring. This subplot has very little to do with anything else.

Adam and Marklin ride bikes. They have enough free time to go out with friends constantly. They consider buying an apartment together. And Adam is Mr. Sad Face all through it. He thought life would be better than this. Easier than this. Better than what? Easier than what? Having a kind devoted boyfriend who supports you financially and is understanding for the most part about you being dissatisfied all the time?

Maybe it’s not the movie’s fault. Maybe it’s me. But when I hear a character say a character who does not have to worry about money that it’s a “snooze fest” to hear about the ice cream truck guy’s ambitions for himself, and then agree with her, I’m done. I don’t need to invest in these people. They’re far too invested in themselves.

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