Apres Vous

Apres Vous

Daniel Auteuil, the busiest French actor right now, has that look of a man who thinks he might not be doing the right thing. In ”Apres Vous,” he does do the right thing and it is nothing but trouble. He saves a man from suicide, then in an irony that must be covered by several ancient proverbs, becomes responsible for the man’s life.

Mr. Auteuil plays Antoine, the maître’ at a Paris brasserie that would have to serve terrific food if its customers regularly put up with as much incompetence as they do during this movie. Taking a shortcut through a park late one night, Antoine finds Louis (the sad eyed, hangdog Jose Garcia) just as he kicks the suitcase out from under his feet to hang himself from a tree. Antoine saves him, brings him home, introduces him to his nervous girlfriend Christine (Marilyne Canto), and worries about Louis more than Louis does.

In fact, Louis wishes he had killed himself. He is heartbroken over the end of his romance with Blanche (Sandrine Kiberlain), and suddenly remembers that he has written a letter saying goodbye to life and mailed it to the grandmother who raised him. Antoine promptly drives through the night with him to intercept the letter, and finds himself living Louis’s life for him.

”Apres Vous” means ”after you.” It is intended as a farce but lacks farcical insanity; instead it functions as sitcom anticlimax. One problem is that neither Louis nor his dilemma is funny. Another problem is Antoine; he’s too sincere and single minded to suggest someone being driven buggy by this situation; he seems more earnest than beleaguered.

Farces often involve cases of mistaken or misunderstood identities; here Antoine seeks out Blanche (whom he falls in love with after finding her in a florist shop), although she has already broken up with Louis. This would be a simple enough matter, but Antoine is conscientious to a fault, and feels it is somehow his responsibility to forgo romantic happiness and try to reconcile Louis with Blanche. Since nothing in the movie suggests they will bring each other anything but misery, this compulsion seems more masochistic than generous.

Much of the action takes place at the brasserie, Chez Jean, where I would like to eat next time I am in Paris, provided that Louis and Antoine no longer work there. Louis gets Antoine the wine steward’s job, despite Antoine’s complete lack of knowledge about wine; he develops a neat trick of describing a wine by its results rather than its qualities, recommending expensive labels because they will enhance the customer’s mood. This at least has the advantage of making him less boring than most wine stewards.

In the meantime, Blanche is oblivious to the fact that these two men are acquainted with one another, so of course she has a fit and feels betrayed when she finds out, as women always do in such cases, rather than being grateful that two men have gone to such trouble to make her their mutual dupe.

There are also scenes which I suppose are obligatory in certain kinds of romantic comedies, where first one character and then another clambers up a vine covered trellis onto Blanche’s balcony at the risk of his life in order to spy on her. I don’t know about you but when I see a guy climbing up to a balcony and his name’s not Romeo I wish I’d brought my iPod.

During comedies there is a sort of mental efficiency meter we keep track off and say: Is this movie making us laugh enough for the length it runs? If it dips below its recommended laughter saturation level, I start using the Indiglo feature on my Timex. Antoine and Louis and Blanche go around two too many or three too many or even four too many times with comic misunderstandings before they fall down exhausted from centrifugal force, giving us time to realize that we don’t care how they end up anyway.

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