Armed

Armed

“Things are worse than ever!” stopped being just the silliest line yelled by an extra in “The Dark Knight,” and became the unofficial slogan for our capital-D Divided times. Writer/director Mario Van Peebles joins a fretful chorus of Trump-era artists, but instead of a cogent statement he gives us a rambling tangent about gun control, PTSD, pharmaceutical drugs, a missing girl, and a hillbilly militiaman who wears a hat that says “Make America Late Again.” I’m not sure why it’s “late,” but I do give the film’s poster credit for collecting Peebles’ exploding head, an American flag, and a cockroach on his shoulder, all in one image.

Set during our political climate where mass shootings outnumber national holidays 30 to 1, Van Peebles casts himself as Chief, an American figure who represents our ills (at one point he is in both skeletal make-up, and wearing a clown nose, natch). Chief has PTSD from his days as a U.S. Marshal after a job gone wrong that haunted the rest of his team; he also occasionally has visions of cockroaches which take him back to when one laid eggs in his ear as child. In his new life as barber he tries to fight his deteriorated psyche by spouting Kipling while cutting hair or listening to “The Flower Duet” from “Lakme” through white earbuds.

His peaceful existence is thrown off in first big scene when he accidentally cuts intimidating young gangster’s ear leading to extended and purposeless chase by angry gang members. Chief is thrown even further down rabbit hole of anxieties when ghost from past emerges Jonesie (a hammy Ryan Guzman), one their fellow Marshals.

‘Armed’ gets some semblance plot with Jonesie trying convince Van Peebles get revenge against drug companies that didn’t help their PTSD, and join up with their buddies. But Jonesie legitimately wears tin-foil hat, and is ooh-rah about using guns bombs for justice a cause Chief doesn’t believe in, leading to few soundbites about Second Amendment rights.

For all its unclear narrative through-line over brutal two-hour runtime, ‘Armed’ is perhaps no more indulgent than with its lead woman Grace (Jemma Dallender), who Chief crashes into when sprinting from aforementioned gangsters. A young polyamorous vegan sex worker with British accent and instant liking for Chief, she brings out stranger impulses of Van Peebles’ I wrote this today let’s shoot it mentality like when she’s shown filming woman dancing at beach and Van Peebles is just lighting bounce card before bouncing himself.

Or later, she’s shown dancing on tree stump while being filmed by her drone. It’s baffling, if merciful that Van Peebles finds way shoehorn this character into lingering missing girl plot, which itself then turns into Mario Van Peebles vs. Militant Trump Voters in third act.

As much as plot doesn’t exist ‘Armed’ does have recurring talking point of PTSD, appearing sporadic nervous moments portrayed without depth by Van Peebles. It’s very broad depiction articulated through shaky cameras and disorienting cross cuts to earlier times.

In his wild storytelling way, he obviously does this for a big twist which fails to support his dull claim that PTSD exists.

“Armed” wants you to know that this is all based on a true story, so it tells you in the beginning and also at the end just in case you didn’t catch it the first time. The “true story” comes from gun ownership facts, which are shared in text with #gunfacts. But this is where Peebles’ rinky-dink political screed gets especially tasteless, as his footage flashes the faces of real mass shooters among horror villains in a montage.

And the music? A song-ified version of Chief’s last bit of dialogue, his remorseful words about his last actions accompanied by autotune and a lazy club beat. Rather than being a critique on America 2018, it’s another tone-deaf artistic stroke.

What Peebles sets out to do with “Armed” is make senselessness understandable by meeting our circus-like moment with one of his own; but there’s so much on its mind here that no end is ever seen.

Yet the failure of “Armed” lies more with Van Peebles than anything else; it’s not often that one can say a film doesn’t bring together ideas seriously or even trashily enough, though those “Purge” movies start to shine after watching this trainwreck. I will admit though that “Armed” does give me some solace in knowing that maybe our nation isn’t quite as messy right now as this movie is…maybe.

Watch Armed For Free On Gomovies.