Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Bad Boys: Ride or Die

I’m not saying the writers of “Bad Boys: Ride or Die” used A.I. it’s a sensitive topic in Hollywood right now. But I don’t think it would have turned out that differently if a computer wrote it.

“Ride or Die” serves as a more direct sequel to 2020’s “Bad Boys for Life” than one might expect and checks all the boxes of such an entry in the series, which is, frankly, depressing. It’s too afraid to try anything new or creative, even as it bursts to life every so often through its hyperactive photography and editing. But not enough happens here that feels spontaneous or inventive: this movie is happy just going through the motions while taking as few swings as possible, producing a film that could be summed up with the title Ride, Die or Tread Water.

Almost everything about “Ride or Die” aggressively mirrors something from the last film from the already nauseating drive through Miami that opens each installment to a close encounter with death for one of our beloved characters. In South Beach Mike Lowery (Will Smith) was shot, whereas this time around we start things off with Marcus Miles (Martin Lawrence) having a heart attack at Mike’s wedding to Christine (Melanie Liburd).

Whereas an attempted murder in the previous film sparked an arc about friendship and making good on another chance at life, here Marcus thinks he’s basically immortal after being near death when Captain Conrad Howard’s (Joe Pantoliano) ghost told him it wasn’t his time so now he can run into traffic but can’t eat Skittles anymore because his wife and work life partner won’t let him.

Meanwhile, where “For Life” had immediacy thanks to Mike’s life being put in danger early on here takes way too long before getting down to business unlike when Marcus was clinging to life during his near-death experience where Conrad-Wan Kenobi told him there was “a storm coming.” The storm turns out just be McGrath (Eric Dane), who is essentially just bad action fodder for this uninspired villain whose motivations are both underdeveloped and incompetent throughout multiple blockbuster movies over recent years.

He frames Howard by wiring drug money into dead captain’s account because apparently they didn’t bother trying harder than this against what should have been obvious choices all along given how little thought went into any part involving these two together whatsoever besides wanting someone else involved besides themselves since otherwise everything would still somehow end up exactly like always did before except maybe slightly different but definitely not better since nothing ever gets resolved between them anyway except maybe once again never learning any lessons throughout their entire lives despite dying like constantly so obviously either neither person deserves happiness ever again after all those times failing miserably at literally everything else only thing left worth mentioning here would probably involve some kind of reference back towards past mistakes made earlier during happier days spent together instead while hoping things will magically change someday soon enough until then keep dreaming buddy!

In a “Bad Boys” film, the heroes are always pushing back against the system. In this film, that includes a potential future Miami mayor named Lockwood (Ioan Gruffudd), who is dating Mike’s ex and the new Captain, Rita Secada (Paola Nunez). And it turns out that Captain Howard’s daughter Judy (Rhea Seehorn) is a US Marshall and her daughter Callie (Quinn Hemphill) joins the action largely to be another eventual damsel in distress.

A way too big cast also includes Tasha Smith as Marcus’s wife Theresa (a recasting from Theresa Randle), the return of Vanessa Hudgens & Alexander Ludwig and a bunch of random cameos some of which are inspired some of which are again echoes of things done better in previous films.

Of course a Bad Boys movie is about the leads the chemistry between Smith and Lawrence has always been at the heart of why people love these movies. Much of the charm of the 2020 flick was seeing how they hadn’t lost a step in that department despite 17 years between flicks. Bluntly, it’s just not as tight here with a lot of jokes in the first half falling flat and so much of the material that’s supposed to read as dramatic feeling shallow and overly familiar making for a film shorter than last one but feels notably longer because clunky flow. Sure, no one comes to a Bad Boys for depth but writers Chris Bremner and Will Beall can’t find right voice. This crops up most notably in way they keep peppering in more complex ideas like rampant corruption even their villain’s radicalization through torture only do precisely nothing with it. If you’re gonna be goofy dumb lean into it don’t casually bring up how 9/11 changed world.

To be fair, directors Adil & Bilall know how to deliver in a few action set-pieces wherein their obsession with drone photography gets to be the film’s real star. Every shootout features a circling drone camera view of the action, spinning around the room in a manner that gives the movie most of its momentum. Sure, some of it may be designed to hide that Smith and Lawrence can’t exactly pull off John Wick-esque choreography at this point, but there’s a chaotic fluidity to the action that’s the film’s greatest strength. It’s flashy and stylish and keeps the viewer’s eye bouncing around the frame to take it all in.

A helicopter sequence and a final shootout at a gator farm are truly enjoyable even as the plot and the motivations of the cogs within them make less and less sense as the movie goes on (never mind the physics that give Marcus the strength of the Hulk in that copter) and Scipio deserves some credit for the way he carries action scenes with an intensity that the rest of the film often lacks. He could easily carry his own Bad Boys Jr..

Watch Bad Boys: Ride or Die For Free On Gomovies.