Eat Locals

Eat Locals

Although Jason Flemyng performed well as an actor, he is not likely to make a permanent career out of being a director. This is in light of the fact that this is his debut movie as a director. Finding the right formula for comedy-horror is no walk in the park. For every American Werewolf in London, there is the American Werewolf in Paris. Unfortunately, this does not seem to mark the rise of a new voice in the genre. Nonetheless, if you are planning to combine two very different movies to create a third, it’s at least entertaining to think about Zulu meeting What We Do in the Shadows.

Unfortunately, the ripping apart seems to be at hand with atrocious amateur-like execution. This is bad as it is obvious that none of them even took the trouble to realize that instead of degrading themselves by messing around with their friends, they were creating a product which would be viewed by people in the future and who would have to pay for it.

British veterans Charlie Cox, Freema Agyeman, Vincent Ward, and Annette Crosbie of the British invasion Bite can be seen as a group of vampires of varying ages who first attempt to feast on newcomer Billy Cook and then try to recruit him. So what happens is this a group of I-know-that-guy actors is led by Mackenzie Crook, who is revealing things nicely. They carry out the usual spy activities which involve hiding in places and waiting to strike at a coven residence which one of them considers evil and which is isolated from the rest of the world. And that is what happens, more or less, for around ninety minutes before everything gets wrapped up.

Eating Locals, having taken what appears like an eternity to commence, then rather stupidly chooses to omit any gags, or even scares, which would merit its prehistoric length. Or rather Listening Once does of course finally read his younger children’s books and awkwardly spits lines from Crocodile Dundee or ‘Titanic’ or ‘Lock Stock’ the very same movie of his that many would have seen and would recognize and which Mr. Listening presumably hopes would replace clever storytelling. Dexter Fletcher and Ruth Jones provide extended comical appearances as husband and wife who farm secrets, other than it’s no real convocation with them why either of them is there from a narrative viewpoint through screen writing.

A rush job, one that’s predictably not competent in the fact that it was made by amateurs is how I’d sum up the film in two words. One can only presume it’s the mates that these actors are doing it for, and the wrap party must have been fun for some strange reasons, Jamie Oliver is thanked in the credits but when that is literally the only highlight of this project, does it even have to be so?

Yes, vampires will never die, but you will: stop wasting your time and find something worth your time.

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