‘Shark Boy’ bites in 3-D

‘Shark Boy’ bites in 3-D

“The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D” is a charming children ‘s story that has been utterly ruined by the decision to shoot most of it in rotten 3-D. Three quarters of the movie is in “3”-D, which looks more like 1-D to me, sucking out all the brightness and color from the film’s palette and substituting drab listlessness for what should have been excitement as dreary as watching a 3-D bowl of oatmeal.

The 3-D process detracts; it does not add. Ordinary 2-D movies look plenty real enough for audiences and always have; if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And paradoxically, although it allegedly resembles our real-world vision, 3-D is less realistic than standard flat movies; character and story are central to a narrative but 3-D distracts us with something we should not be thinking about during any good movie.

To be sure, there is a new 3-D process that works pretty well. That would be the IMAX process with the oversized glasses that gives you convincing results, such as James Cameron’s “Aliens of the Deep.” But that isn’t what was used on “Sharkboy and Lavagirl,” which settles for those lousy old cardboard glasses where the left lens is such a dark red you feel like you’re watching through a glass, darkly.

What a shame. I believe that somewhere out there exists an unaltered original color version of this movie, which will certainly appear on DVD. My suggestion to Robert Rodriguez who directed from a screenplay by one son and uses three sons as actors would be to make available theatrically a non 3-D version as quickly as possible. This is going to be seen mostly by younger kids who may sit still through almost anything but will know something is wrong here, and will not like it.

The movie has a good story at its source. Rodriguez’s son Racer, then 7, told him about a boy who turned into half-shark; and a girl who contained elements of fire and volcanoes. He encouraged him to keep developing the story, in which the young hero Max (Cayden Boyd) is an imaginative kid; mocked for his Dream Journal by Linus, the school bully.

Then a tornado drops out of nowhere bringing Sharkboy and Lavagirl, who explain that they have been created by Max’s dreams and now need his help: The world he made for them as Planet Drool will be destroyed by darkness in 45 minutes. I may not be remembering these details with perfect accuracy but you get the idea.

Max, SB and LG embark on a journey that takes them on the Stream of Consciousness through the Sea of Confusion; they ride a Train of Thought until they arrive at a Dream Lair where they find Minus who is played by Jacob Davich the same actor who was Max’s classroom bully. Many adventures follow involving an Ice Princess and Tobor the robot among others, as well as Mr. Electric, who knows everything and looks like Max’s teacher Mr. Electricidad (George Lopez).

Mr. Electric is a giant, bulbous, smiling face in a frame with spindly arms and legs. He reminded me of somebody, which was strange because he didn’t look like anyone I know. That’s not true: There is one person he looks like the Man in the Moon in Georges Melies’ “A Trip to the Moon” (1902). Mr. Electric floats around like an officious commentator; giving advice, issuing warnings and generally being a pain; among his more peculiar qualities is that he won’t let the kids on this planet stop playing ever. One bunch finds themselves trapped on a roller coaster that never ends.

“Sharkboy and Lavagirl” has the same kindhearted charm as Rodriguez’s “Spy Kids” movies, and it must be said that Racer Rodriguez’s screenplay involves the type of freewheeling invention that children appreciate; this is a movie where dream logic applies. It has parents too, like “Spy Kids”; Max’s dad and mom (David Arquette and Kristin Davis) are figures.

Because the real world scenes are in 2-D and the dream scenes are in 3-D, we get an idea what this movie would have looked like without any dimension at all. Signs flash on screen to tell us when to put on and take off our polarizing glasses, and every time I had to shut out those colorful images and return to the dim dreary 3-D world, I felt regret. This is going to be a great-looking DVD.

Watch ‘Shark Boy’ bites in 3-D For Free On Gomovies.