Super Cyclone

Super Cyclone

About one year ago met her protagonist among independent filmmakers at The Asylum, Liz Adams, and promptly set her to produce one of the best films in The Asylum’s history of weird films, ‘Air Collision.’ Let’s not get too terribly confused. ‘Air Collision’ was ungrammatical in the use of the definition of a film but it was practically impossible to hesitate about watching it because it was a complete nuts fest with some pathetic action.

Since that film was a success, well I don’t know, Ms. Adams should now rather expect to be ruthlessly taken advantage of for little financial compensation as an Asylum hired woman with the release of that masterpiece’s sequel ‘Super Cyclone.’ For this movie too, total nut diabolism and some fabulous non stop low budget masala action can be found, but we must report, Danny Lerner was not in this installment as he was of ‘Air Collision’, ‘Super Cyclone’ is not as a Mass Destruction.

Some off-shore oil drillers drill a well into lava very much the same disaster that occurs in Okavango swamps volcanoes but here it has produced a super cyclone that is rampaging down the western coast. Colonel Chadwick (Darrin Cooper) has to find out what is going on since there is a disturbance in the continuum in the form of a low pressure rift. The cause of such questions for Colonel Chadwick is Jenna Sparks (Ming Na) who works for NOAA.

Dr. Sparks is now in the research exam mode as she begins off by getting on board a cargo ship and during a cyclone which now transforms the ship beyond recognition, she first tells her coworker Dr. Cavanaugh (Andy Clemence) something plausible and then grabs a helicopter. Apart from being intelligent and attractive in this film, Dr. Sparks is also a helicopter pilot who first makes her way towards the oil rig that caused the cyclone, when everything is over, she recruits the engineer causing chaos with her crippled whiny uncle Clegg (Wayne Lopez) and Travis Verdon (Nicholas Torturro).

The next step felt a little gentlemanly now it was time to go back to the ship to be whirled around again, and then back to the helicopter to attempt a landing at Cyclone Confab Central. That’s where Colonel Chadwick and his team of concerned persons were being called to deal with the situation before the cyclone turned the entire west coast into a baseball diamond.

It was adventure time, cue Dr. Cavanaugh, Dr. Sparks and Engineer Verdon getting pelted with ice hail, set on fire with fire hail, washed away by flash floods, swallowed by sinkholes, assaulted by angry homeowners unhappy about their carjacking’s, and tackled by soldiers who have little reason and crazy tornadoes that flew cars high only to drop them down in a nice plush manner and yes, all that just to get to Cyclone Central to save us I think.

So what does the individual do to stop a Super cyclone which was instigated by a Super Volcano? Perhaps you would think of using a payload of hydro charged silver iodine nanoflakes to the storm which will induce a sequence of planned electric shocks accomplishing the task of shattering the vortex. I know right, it’s obvious. I like most of you I’m sure have seen quite a number of end of days disaster flicks that include a lot of scientific hogwash, but writer Liz Adams might have won the prize for the most controversial scientific explanations in her script for the movie ‘Super Cyclone’.

And this is a bad thing. The reason is that this movie had so much scientific balderdash chatter that it was almost like going to watch a play written by Shakespeare, and that is because most of the time, I have no clue what anybody is talking about. What am I saying let’s make that all of the time. Nevertheless, to Ming Na’s credit she was quite seamless in delivering ambitious Shakespearean fake science as if she actually understood what she was talking about, however there comes a point when listening to all this becomes exhausting.

But the ton of pseudo-science talk is not the reason for ‘Super Cyclone’ from reaching the heights that were worthy set by ‘Air Collision’ in the glorious times. ‘Super Cyclone’ had the production look and feel of a swan that is beaten up its scope was far too enormous for its budget to realistically deliver and Liz Adams as the director did not have enough creative solutions within her repertoire to address a majority of these concerns. It is hard to ignore such absurdities as when your oil rig being shot in long distance CGI is on fire as it is being owned by oil corporations, and then comes a close up of two actors standing on this rig and there is not a single flame on the rig.

There is also the example of hail when you are in your auto getting pelted with hail, and then you get out of your car and there is no hail, and so forth, one cannot help but see these things and it does take one out of the moment. We will go ahead and on the very onset emphasize the fact that ‘Air Collision’ was the very controlled lunacy and ‘Super Cyclone’ was the sheer discombobulated lunacy. Yes, there is a lot of crazy nonsense expected, and even welcomed when watching such movies, but no, ‘Super Cyclone’ left us in a haze of lunacy.

I never thought I would become infuriated by a science fiction movie, such as Motorway Massacre, where emotions came in the form of overwhelming scientific information, and the plot left a lot to be desired. A good plot is one of the reasons why I sometimes watch movies.

On the other hand, there is something to witness, a certain Air Collision-type magic, such as when two characters who think all hope is lost prepare to kill themselves. I’d rather not give it away, but that was quite funny. Or another characters utter failure in jumping across what appeared to be a seven inch gap in the ground. We were also glad to have Darrin Cooper back who was amazing as Air Collision’s Darrin with his aggressive style plus he was also good here though he did tone it down a notch.

Darrin Cooper did not go to waste, and the overacting which he deliberately restrained himself pulled it off Asylum regular Dylan Vox who was phenomenal as the weary engineer, and we are looking forward to Jamie Burton-Oare joining the Asylum’s regulars because not only she is a decent actress but also because she comes from Flint.

‘Super Cyclone’ is a movie that fell way below our expectations considering it is directed by Liz Adams, a director well known for delivering lunacy in a much more controlled manner, but for some reason it did not turn in that impressive a fashion this time around.

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