The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

MOVIE DETAILS

Rating: 6.6 out of 10
Director: Jay Leonard
Writer: Jay Leonard
Star: Shawn Barnes, Suzanna Bornn, Emily Clementson
Genres: Drama
Release Date: November 16, 2019 (United States)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

The Twilight movies are always fascinating. They have committed three episodes to Bella Swan’s fight against her own desires for Edward Cullen, the vampire who is so in love with her. However, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” takes the cake: She falls into bed with him after they get married. Then they fly to Brazil and a luxurious honeymoon hideaway on the beach where the morning after her wedding night she wakes up black and blue from bruises, with the frame of the bed broken under them, all of the furniture destroyed and tossed around the room and the draperies shredded. What?

We don’t know what! The movie doesn’t show us! Yes, in perhaps the most anticlimactic deflowering in recent movie history, a deeply significant event takes place ENTIRELY OFF CAMERA. Something momentous has occurred by day 14 after their wedding ceremony when Bella urps in the morning and realizes she’s pregnant. Edward may have been dead for more than a century, but his swimmers are still first-class athletes. Can humans mate with vampires? What’s that blood type? Will it drink milk or WHAT?

But despite these scientific mysteries hell, because of them “Breaking Dawn – Part 1” is absorbing if somewhat slow-moving entertainment, featuring without much debate the most graphic yet bloodless scene of live childbirth in PG-13 history. In fact I think just watching Bella and Edward demolish their bedroom might have pushed it over into R.

It opens slowly and dreamily, as we see preparations for Bella’s wedding. As fans of earlier films will recall, marriage to Edward means Bella must become a vampire herself something any groupie who slept with Gene Simmons would understand. It’s an outdoorsy affair; blossom-laden trees frame a lakeside altar as guests take their places on white chairs lined up like theater seats around it including some folks we don’t recognize. Bella’s father Charlie (Billy Burke) is not as happy as he should be; his toast includes the genial mention that harm come to Bella and he has a gun etc. But then he puts on a brave face and propels Bella down the aisle. Edward awaits her, looking pained as usual.

We see the smiling guests, many of whom we know from earlier films, but there are some unfamiliar ones too especially on Edward’s side. They fascinate me. What ARE they thinking? How many knew Bella was marrying a vampire? Were they cool with that? Did anyone wonder why Edward possessed not one single relative older than himself?

Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is still around as Bella’s best friend, although you’ll recall he now turns into a wolf, because that’s just how it goes sometimes. Enraged by Bella’s pregnancy, he summons his pack which honestly seems kind of silly given how underwhelmingly small these wolves are when not in wolf form. In fact Jacob seems like maybe even a werewolf would find him underwhelmingly small.

Given nine months to prepare for this eventuality, I must say Edward does not seem to have trained himself very carefully for the home delivery. His medical training seems to have consisted of viewing “Pulp Fiction” once and learning about a real big needle you can plunge into someone’s chest with great results if you listen closely during the scene at Uma Thurman’s house where she ODs and John Travolta saves her life

It’s tough not to give Kristen Stewart some credit here, though like most actresses she does seem to believe that pregnant women spend nine months constantly rubbing their baby bumps. I would have liked more scenes where she thought about being married. Though it hints at the possibility of an abortion, we never learn what she thinks about this: Does a vampire baby have a soul? Does it have a right to life even though it’s technically dead? Fortunately, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” opens Nov. 16, 2012. It better have them. If not, Charlie Swan is packing heat and knows how to use it.

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