You oughta be in pictures

You oughta be in pictures

It’s all the same everywhere. A Hollywood film comes to a city or town, and everyone goes movie mad. In Three Oaks, Mich., when the little picture “Prancer” was there, I heard one bearded regular whisper to another at the bar: “See that guy? He’s assistant makeup.”

This was long ago, when movies were still projected on celluloid as they are here in Iran, where it’s also always been the same way. At the height of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis, with yellow ribbons tied around half the old oak trees in America, a C.I.A. agent and a couple of Hollywood professionals dream up an even cockamamie scheme than usual for freeing six Americans who have found refuge in the Canadian embassy.

Their existence must remain unknown to protect Canada’s diplomatic status; so enter C.I.A. “extractor” Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck), a producer named Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) and a makeup man named John Chambers (John Goodman). Chambers has a brainstorm: He and Siegel will fabricate a fake science-fiction thriller called “Argo.” They will commission a screenplay, pay for storyboards and buy a big ad in Variety. Mendez will fly into Tehran alone and train each of his six would-be escapees in different Hollywood professions cinematographer etcetera.

Their cover: They need desert locations for their movie, which will vaguely resemble “Star Wars.” They will tell the Iranians that these six people are Canadians who were scouting locations and now need to fly back to North America. One of my favorite scenes shows Mendez showing his sci-fi storyboards to Iranian authorities, who try their best not to let on what movie buffs they are; near the end of it, when Mendez tells them “you can keep ’me,” they’re like kids being handed an “E.T.” poster by Steven Spielberg.

This insane scheme is actually true. Yes, it is. Many movies are “inspired by real events,” but this one really happened. The six Americans were extracted and remained top secret for 18 years. They all got home safe to America. “Argo” was, of course, never filmed.

Ben Affleck stars in and directs “Argo,” and the movie itself the real one about the fake one is both spellbinding and surprisingly funny. Most of the laughs come from the Hollywood guys played by Goodman and Arkin; though to be fair, as they set up a fake production office and hold meetings poolside at the Beverly Hills Hotel, they aren’t in quite as much danger as their crew members in Tehran.

Key supporting roles are filled by Bryan Cranston as the C.I.A. chief who greenlights their scheme and Victor Garber as the Canadian ambassador who at great risk opens his embassy’s doors to them all; Tate Donovan plays Bob Anders, one of Mendez’s fellow agents who stays behind with him in Iran, where they pretend to be scouting locations for another project called “Lord of Light.” Affleck is brilliant at choreographing each step by step risk that his team takes on its way out of Tehran, and “Argo” has several cliff-hanging moments when you’re sure that this delicate plan must split right open at its seams.

The artistry in this film is uncommon. It’s easy to churn out a thriller with chases and gunshots, but so difficult to carve it from timing that’s exquisite down to the millisecond and a plot that’s so plain it makes us wonder why it isn’t obvious to the Iranians. I mean, who in their right mind would think a space opera was being filmed in Iran during the hostage crisis? Just about everyone, as it turns out.

God bless Hollywood. Same thing everywhere you go. A Hollywood production comes to town and everybody goes movie crazy. When a little picture named “Prancer” came to Three Oaks, Mich., I was sitting in the bar and overheard one bearded regular confide to another: “See that guy? He’s assistant makeup.”

So too in Iran. At the height of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis, yellow ribbons tied around half the old oak trees in America, a CIA agent and a couple of Hollywood professionals dreamed up a cockamamie scheme to free six Americans who had found refuge in the Canadian embassy. Their existence had to remain secret for Canada’s diplomatic status.

Enter CIA “extractor” Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck), producer Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) and makeup artist John Chambers (John Goodman). Chambers has an idea: He and Siegel will fake up a sci-fi thriller called “Argo.” They’ll hire a screenwriter; pay for storyboards; take out an ad in Variety. Mendez will fly solo into Tehran and train the six Americans to impersonate Hollywood pros the cinematographer and so on.

Their cover: They need desert locations for their movie, which will vaguely resemble “Star Wars.” They’ll tell the Iranians that these six people are Canadians who are scouting locations and now need to fly back north of the border. One of the funniest scenes has Mendez showing sci-fi storyboards to Iranian officials, who try their best not to let on what movie buffs they are. At the end of the scene, when Mendez says “you can keep ’me,” they’re like kids being handed an “E.T.” poster by Steven Spielberg.

This preposterous scheme, as I only call it because it actually happened, is a fact-based thriller. It is indeed. Countless movies are “inspired by real events,” but this one really was. The extraction of the six Americans remained top secret for 18 years. They all made it back home safely. Needless to say, “Argo” was never filmed.

Ben Affleck not only stars in but also directs, and “Argo,” the real movie about the fake movie, is both nail-bitingly suspenseful and riotously funny. Many of the laughs come from Goodman’s and Arkin’s Hollywood guys, although to be sure: As they set up a phony production office and hold meetings poolside at the Beverly Hills Hotel, nothin’ bad’s gonna happen to them like Oh! their “crew members” over in Iran.

Key supporting roles go to Bryan Cranston as the CIA chief who gives the scheme a green light and Victor Garber as the Canadian ambassador who at great risk opens his embassy’s doors to the secret guests. Affleck is brilliant at choreographing each step-by-step risk that his team takes leaving Tehran; “Argo” has cliff-hanging moments when you think it’ll split apart right at its seams;

What is so uncommon about this movie is its craftsmanship. A thriller can be easily made out of chases and gunfire, but it takes a lot more effort to create one from perfect timing and a plot that seems obvious to the audience while remaining oblivious to the Iranians. I mean, seriously: who would think that a space opera was being filmed in Iran during the hostage crisis? Almost everybody, it seems. God bless Hollywood.

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